Slutty Asian Mika Tan: Wears corset. Spank her ass. Probe her ass with fingers, as she dildo probes pussy. She rides your face. She sucks your cock. Down to business ass-rides you. She moans high. You cum IN her ass. Slut kitty fingers, licks 'em. One down, 4 to go, take your Yohimbe. Oh, you prefer Horny Goat Weed? Go for it.

Blonde Jasmine Tame's from Florida. She digs the freedom in Florida. Freedom on set declares bare boobs. Big tits, red fishnet top, black panties, high black stockings. This'll be a sweet bitch gone wild. She's got a vibrator, but can't figure it out, has to call customer service. She's anally probing her ass with a vibrator, prob solved. She prefers cocks, and tongues. Little grrrl voice. Her male has the pro demeanor of service tech. This might be a better merger than Yahoo with AOL. Her voice reminds me of Jenna Haze.

"Get me goin' baby," and the enthusiastic cock-sucking begins. Good lil' deep-throater. "Put it in my pussy" of course. Ride 'em cowgrrrl. She's fresher than Mika, both in looks and energy.
"Now I want you to fuck my ass." Sweeet. She rides it so good. Now some ass-pumping on the side. She does love it. "Fuck me." She's back on top, anal cowgrrrl ride. They are not discussing quantum physics. One nation under fucking, with fucking and sucking for all. Now he's back taking her from behind again. Nothin' but heavy breathing, fucking, two human animals "O yeah." Smack that ass. Read any good books lately? Yeah, the Moons of Uranus. "O yeah" -- heavy sphlorking on Uranian moon. Techno sonic propulsion to:

Ana Nova/The Jar Joke. Now some nonsense about a urine test. "It's soda, I was teasing. Show us your boobs, and ass." My, such sly wit. Service tech likes. Uh-oh, some clueless fuck is playing the thump-thump-thump beat with sci-fi texture, to match my previous joking. I actually want to fuck this one, so of course it's noisy. I don't mind you change up with some music, but only my Robosuck pulses to this stuff. . .Reprieve. Lick that lush pussy. Take your fucking sunglasses off. Anilingus, anilingus. See, here you could have "Hallelujah," the syllables match.

Deep throat gagging. The good kind. She's trying to commit suicide by swallowing his cock. Gotta admire the existential bravura. Now some spirit of 69, but service tech's future's so bright, he's gotta wear shades. I hope she crushes his Ray-Bans with her lovely lethal ass. I want those throat-sucking sounds on my next rock song trax.

Nice ass grind, anal cowgrrrl. Rotate like that some more, so I won't be such a smart-ass. Smart ass. Assssssss. Now an anal sidebar, with a triple-lux of the nerve endings. Ride Ana, ride. This one's even named after her ass. I love truth in advertising. How much is that doggie in the asshole. "O yeah." What happens if she says "No!" More faux transgressive frissons?

More sonic tech geek propulsion to bring it all back home. Front. She is the sexiest to this
wise-ass thus far. The soundtrack is determined to be silly, so what the fuck. What happened, did that insane techno from Brainwash leak through? Don't worry, production, you'll get a 4 on the strength of P.O.V., even if not as tight as Please Drill My Ass. Stop that fucking techno. Any of you dweebs ever heard of rock and roll? Cums in her face, despite the stupid music. Let's hear it for biological imperatives. Is that a real Marine Corps tattoo?

Next, "Tell us what you're gonna do today." Page-boy brunette Katja Kassin goes "I think I'm
going to be fucked in the ass, P.O.V. style." Wow. She studied hard for this. "Look at a guy the whole time. It's very personal, and hot." It is, with the right chick and a better P.O.V. cam. She's sexy tho'. Wants to be prime minister of Albania after she cums 5 more times. It's
important to have goals.

She does 50 sit-ups in the gym and thinks she scared off a guy who was only doing 10. No I'm not being a wise-ass now, she actually said this. Hang on, I gotta go do 50 sit-ups, just to prove I'm man enough to watch this.

Whew! That's enough sit-ups. Now where were we?

Her ass is speaking to me. Speakin' to the dude in the flick too, tonguing and slapping.

Now we're rockin' -- she shows stronger feelings when her ass is fucked, than the previous
grrrls. And now the soundtrack, tho' still the wrong techno music, is at least lower in the mix
so we can hear her heartfelt embrace of anal drilling. Yeah, that's smart-ass, but almost true.

Those high black stockings are sweet. Cums on her ass, after they make a pledge to end world hunger.

Next up: Alicia Angel, Ass Therapist. Gotta love it. This one's another saucy brunette, medium tits.

She insists on being fucked in the ass, 'cause if "you're not goin' up there, somethin' will." What, a Porsche? "We need more girls like that." "Yeah, yeah." "Would you be willing to teach a class, give a little counseling?" "Yeah! See, there's my asshole, right there." I'm so glad she clarified that -- I thought it was a black hole to another dimension. One hopes.

Uh-oh, the soundtrack's crankin' up again, kinda Mickey Mouse does Nine Inch Nails.

Momentarily, her bonzai bunghole actually does black out the sun. "Black Hole Sun" -- where the fuck ARE Soundgarden when you really need 'em? Defunct? Even de funk would be better than March of the Figs.

Let the ass therapy begin! She begins the anal probe with a candy-red thingie, no grey aliens in sight.

"O yeah. Ah yeah." I wish she'd say "No!" once in awhile, just to confuse the virtual voyeurs.

Now ride, ass therapist, ride.

When we get her around front still anal, her soulful eyes and spread pink stockings are truly
sweeet.

Now some stand-up, carry her anal. That'll shape you up.

Ass high in the air, doggie anal. "O god." Do it, God Sodom. Ass therapist wants the man goo on her ass, as the music goes moody, romantic. Uh-oh. Post-sphlork, the music's in the vein of that goofy bald guy with glasses dancing in the Six Flags commercial.

The end. No really. Asses high. Royal flush.

Remember to do Mystery Science Theater commentary, and you'll be horny throughout.

Featured dudes are Chris Cannon, Alec Knight, Seth Dickens, Will Powers. Directed by the title guy.