Debbie and her amazing almost-shorts.

Family Affair is a film from 1987. I don't have much experience with older porn, so this was an interesting experience for me.

Debbie is a young lady who lives with her mom and her stepdad. She acts innocent to the point of being naive, but this girl knows a trick or two. The movie starts with Debbie lying on the sofa talking on the phone with her friend. She's wearing a pair of Daisy Dukes cut so high that a small string of denim is all that's keeping her modest. And it's not doing a great job of it. Debbie hears about her friend's date the night before and proclaims that the boy doesn't have nearly as big a cock as Mr. Wilson.

Mr. Wilson is the next-door neighbor. The scene cuts to him by the pool with Debbie examining his shaft. In no time at all, his pants are undone (held in place by his bitchin' rainbow suspenders) and Debbie is going to town. One thing I noticed is that the sex scenes in this film seem to be longer than the ones today. Maybe it's my imagination, but the movie is just under an hour long and only has three (almost four) sex scenes in it. Debbie continues to blow the neighbor to the sounds of a synthesizer and a few one-liners from Mr. Wilson. This gets a little dull after a while, since they swap back and forth between two angles and the one-liners start to repeat. (The first time "You're sure your parents won't be home til later?" is an ok question. After the second or third time it sounds like he doesn't quite trust Debbie) She takes off her panties and begins to masturbate and Mr. Wilson reaches down and pulls her breasts free of her low-cut yellow sweater. Mr. Wilson shoots a copious load into Debbie's mouth (after making a hilarious face) and we cut back to Debbie on the sofa.

Debbie tells her friend her parents are going to be home soon so she should get going. Debbie is apparently a liar. She got worked up thinking about Mr. Wilson and decides to masturbate. Just as she's getting into it, she is interrupted by her mom and stepdad. Maybe she isn't a liar.

The folks have been out buying a brand new car. Debbie hears about it and then heads off to her friend's house. Before she can go, Stepdad asks her about her makeup and shorts (I'm telling you, these are not shorts, they are underwear. Good call, Stepdad!) but when Debbie asks what he means he says never mind and sends her out.

Mom wants to thank Stepdad for the car. Obviously this means sex, but more specifically it means anal. The way the people interact, especially the mom and stepdad, is great. They act like real people having real sex. It's not all "You want to fuck that ass? Hmm? Yeah, fuck that ass!" dirty talk- they talk, they joke, they even have little awkward flubs. We're treated to the same two camera deal for the scene. After Stepdad has finished all over Mom's breasts and face, he announces that they should get cleaned up before the Wilsons come over to see the car.

 

Before the Wilsons actually show, Mom and Stepdad talk about Stepdad’s socks. This leads into conversation about Debbie again, and Stepdad expresses interest in the girl. This is the second time he’s done this in the movie, and before you figure out he’s not her real dad it’s off-putting. The Wilsons arrive and make nice small talk about how great the new car is. The conversation slides towards awkward silence and Mrs. Wilson asks if she can put on some music. If someone came to my house and asked to turn on the music I would not assume she meant “Can I strip here in your living room?” I wouldn’t complain but I wouldn’t expect it. Mom and Stepdad don’t seem at all surprised that Mrs. Wilson has begun taking her clothing off. Stepdad even leans over to look up her dress in the reflection on their mirrored coffee table. The 80’s are amazing.

 

The show quickly turns into Stepdad and Mr. Wilson swapping wives. While Mom is going down on Mr. Wilson and Stepdad is on top of Mrs. Wilson, Debbie comes home. She asks, stunned, “Mom, what are you doing with Mr. Wilson?” Since she’d been doing the same thing earlier that day I assumed she was asking out of incredulity, not inquiry. Stepdad awkwardly explains that they set this whole thing up as a lesson for Debbie since she’s grown up now and they don’t feel the school has done a great job of teaching this style of thing. So Debbie sits by the fireplace and watches both pairs go at it. Mrs. Wilson is apparently quite taken with Debbie, and asks her to join in. In a scene of pseudo-incest, Debbie rides her stepdad for a bit, and then lets Mrs. Wilson go down on her while Stepdad gives it to Mrs. Wilson from behind. Mom and Mr. Wilson finish up and opt to go for a drive while the others finish up. The film ends when Stepdad fires a round onto Mrs. Wilson’s ass and then goes to take a shower.

 

There are plenty of good reasons to check Family Affair out. Since it is an old movie, there are a few quality issues, but that’s no fault of the production, simply the technology. Since it clocks in at about an hour, it is a great way to take a look back at a little piece of porn history without being overwhelmed with something like the four hour behemoths of today. The script isn’t bad, the actors are great, and the women are easy on the eyes. Give it a whirl, at the very least to see Mr. Wilson’s awesome 1980’s moustache.


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