For this review I offer up my favorite sex toy: the futon.  Yes that’s right I hear the “What?” or “How boring!”” echoing from my readers.  However, for my review I ask for open minds, a lack of judgment and suspension of preconceived notions.
  The futon under review is not your armless, fold over, IKEA 100.00 special.  Oh no!  It must be solid, and preferably made of wood.  It must recline from sofa to bed position in one easy motion.  And perhaps most importantly, come equipped with arms.  Your standard Mission Style is perfect.
   In its upright position the futon provides the best possible scenario for woman-on-top.  By pushing your legs against the seat and pulling against the frame’s back with your arms you can up your rhythmic intensity nicely.  And in this seated position, as opposed to lying down you can be right up next to your partner.  All the benefits of kissing, ear nibbling etc. without sacrificing your depth and pace control.
  Now, we move onto the tried and true missionary position.  If, like me, you think “the deeper the better” then the reclined futon will serve you well. If your partner places his feet on the futon’s arms and uses it for leverage you will discover a never before dreamt of level of penetration. You can heighten the position’s magnitude even further by using an ankle and/or wrist “restraint” tied to the futon’s arms.  I prefer a silk tie or something really soft, but to each his own.   
  Some may still be bewildered by the choice of a futon as a sex toy but stay with me.  There is a psychological level of enjoyment that centers on a futons multifunctional role in a home.  It is a piece of furniture that will see a lot of use.  You will have company, for a polite chitchat or neighborly coffee talk.  And they will casually sit on the futon completely unaware they are sitting on your sexual playground. This is thrilling and provides an almost lascivious glee that you are getting away with something. Regardless of whether it is a college friend, or your local garden club, you know every raunchy, delicious thing you have done right where your guests are sitting.  I do not know if I can truly explain the particularly delicious pleasure in having your mother-in-law over and inviting her to sit on the same futon upon which her son recently got ridden hard and put away wet!  
    A futon is not your expensive, pillow-top mattress covered on 800 thread count sheets.  Nor is it a member of an expensive bedroom se, fine Persian rug or brand new leather chair.  It is not precious and can take a beating.  Literally! The cover is washable, and if you wear it out it is easily replaceable.  If you have guests coming over and there is no laundry time, just turn the mattress over.  Or, take my suggestion and keep a very soft towel tucked in your favorite decorative pillow to serve as a “drop cloth”.
  Sex toys, like sex, not only benefit from complete abandon, and a totally unashamed desire to revel in your body’s pleasure. They benefit from looking at something familiar with new eyes, or occasionally asking, “Hmmm what fun can I have with this?”  The 50’s housewife and washing machine rinse cycle relationship is a prime example. So call up your parents and offer to take their dust-covered futon out of the family room.  But be prepared if mom and dad are not too pleased to let it go!