Barbed Wire Kiss

Benny Profane proves that there are still original movies to be made, even if his come out of left field somewhere. What the hell am I saying? His films arrive at the wrong ballpark, even in my mind. That's not to say that I don't enjoy them, I do. It's just not the sort of thing that is going to appeal to everyone. Where everyone knows the names Jenna Jameson or Ron Jeremy in the world of porn, Benny Profane would be more of a cult thing. Make sense? I hope so because I don't know how else to explain it.

Speaking of Benny, he's vising a tarot card reader (Caroline Pierce), and her wall is plastered with the art work of Zak Sabbath. His pictures are being held up with purple duct tape (often used by painters - don't ask me for exact details, but I once had an extensive conversation once with someone in the construction and painting business about the uses of different colors of duct tape and their uses in the construction and painting industry). Caroline tells him she's been practicing and lays out the cards. As she lays out a simple Celtic Cross with a Rider-Waite deck the names of the cards go across the screen.

  1. 8 of Swords
  2. 10 of Swords
  3. The Lovers
  4. The Tower
  5. Judgment
  6. The Fool

An interesting fortune to say the least. I wondered why she started with the third card, The Lovers. She went on to tell him about decisions to be made. Very odd. Seeing as how this is porn there are so many place this could have gone that it didn't. He stopped her and told her that each of the cards represented a different woman from his life.

Interesting.

There are six cards but he only talked about four of them. What about that 8 of Swords and 10 of Swords? Indecision and the fear of leaving an unpleasant situation caused by the disruption of ones entire life and the depression that goes with it. After looking at these two cards, then we would look to The Lovers because this is the reason why the reading is being done. Opposites attract and there is a temptation rearing it's head that may not be in the best interest and it's going to be a difficult decision to make. What has happened in the past, as signified by The Tower, will have a direct bearing on the situation. The Tower signifies something catastrophic change with your family that leaves you changed, and not necessarily for the better. This brings us to the here and now with Judgment. It's time to answer up for all past Karma. Well, if that doesn't go along with the eight and ten of swords and the current indecision and fear picked up by the cards in this reading. The last card, signifying the near future is The Fool. Card Zero. The beginning and the end. A new beginning, the start of a new adventure or course in life.

Holy shit! Someone call Miss Cleo quick, I just gave a reading based on a card spread in a porno. I want my old job back at the psychic line. Okay, not really. Six months was enough of that. The hours were good, the pay was horrible, and you had to pull teeth to get paid when you were supposed to. Wasn't worth it. I also sucked at my job, not because I couldn't do readings, but because I refused to take advantage of people and keep them on the line as long as possible and run up their phone bill. If I was done in ten minutes, I was done, I wasn't going to make up shit. That meant that I was bad at my job. Oh well. So I sucked. Back to the review.

Benny decided that Carolines boobs would be more interesting than her tarot cards and started playing with them while telling her about the various women the cards represented.

The Lovers -his ex-wife
The young Benny Profane is played by Zak Sabbath and his wife by Veronica Jett. The first major sex scene opens with Veronica giving Zak a blow job while he is driving down the road. The scene eventually cuts to the inside of a garage with the two of them fucking on the roof of the car. I was sure that either her spiked collar or lock necklace was going to do some damage to the paint or windshield but neither seemed to happen. Veronica isn't the loudest of actresses but she seemed to be enjoying herself nonetheless.

Caroline asked what happened to her. They were married. She became pregnant and just days after their son was born he died. He started drinking and his wife left him. Eleven months after burying his son his mother died of cancer and he turned to heroin. What was really screwed up about this, is that all the while he is telling this part of the story, he is fucking Caroline. Yea, sex goes real well with a depressing story. Remind me to try that the next time I am getting laid. If anything in that reading represents The Tower it is this time of his life but he picks something, or rather a someone else, to represent it.

The Tower - Dominica Leoni
Benny is still being played by Zak at this point and he tells Caroline, who he is still fucking, that he originally met her at a party a few weeks before he was married. When he returned to LA she looked him up and they got together. Her family was rich and eccentric but that didn't stop him from getting together with her for a while. This time sex takes place on a plastic covered couch. It always weirded me out the people, and it always seems to be old people, that cover their furniture in plastic to protect it. I had to wonder if Zak lost a layer of skin off his ass on that one. Not to make a big deal out of this or anything but not only was this Zaks first movie but it was his first anal scene. Everyone makes a big deal out of it when a girl does an anal scene for the first time on camera, so lets make a note of it when a guy films his first anal scene for once to be different.

Back to Benny and Caroline changing positions and he lifts the Judgment card and explains another one of the women of his past.

Judgment - Adrianna Nicole
Now Benny Profane is being played by Tee Reel. I don't buy it either and Caroline calls him on it. "Benny, I didn't know you used to be black."

"It's a complicated story but I was reading a lot of Cheshire Hines and Huey Newton. It's also when I started growing my chops."

"I thought that your sideburns were a skinhead thing."

What an idiot! Since when are sideburns are a skinhead thing? Anyway, Benny lets her know that Adrianna was more into girls when he met her and she still is. It's why things didn't work out between them. But it's interesting because the Judgment card represents the now, and she is from the past. If The Judgment card represents anyone it should be Caroline, but this isn't my reading, this is Benny's story and we have to let him tell it and right now he wants to be a black guy banging a white chick who has broccoli cooking downstairs.  An allegory for his dark phase maybe?   They broke up because he got into porn, she wanted him to leave, he didn't want to. 

Caroline said she didn't know if she could ever get into porn and have sex for money.  Yea...right.  Camera pans back, she's bent over her card table getting pounded from behind and you see someone filming them.  "Well, if you don't like porn, you aren't going to like this..."

Last but not least we have The Fool - Amber Rain.
Benny Profane is now played by Marcos Leon.  This is the story of an up and coming starlet named Flocka Segal who Benny met when he started in porn.  This is the most touching and romantic of scenes and oddly it's filmed "on set".  Why is she The Fool?  It's tarot symbolism.  Everything comes full circle, and just because you love someone doesn't mean they love you back.  This is where the movie ends.

Four scenes plus the wrap around that included his storytelling.   The Benny Profane/Caroline Pierce thing was quite weird.  Who the hell has sex while talking about old relationships like that?  I file that under mood killer.  One thing that was stated in the movie does ring true, that which does not kill us still hurts...


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