Naughty Therapy

Naughty Therapy

Kurt Lockwood plays Dr. Strangelove, a rather well chosen name, as he is a bit strange. He claims to be a sex therapist, but as he states in the beginning, the entire thing is a sham just to get laid, and it works out rather well for him. As he is waiting for his first patient he decides that he need to write down his memoirs of his scam because one day it will make a great website, or something. Yellow legal pad and sharpie marker in hand he starts writing, gets distracted on how to spell Strangelove because he likes the smell of the marker and starts sniffing it suddenly yelling, "I am the Lizard King, I can fuck anything!" He needs to come to his senses quickly because his first patient has arrived.

Avy Lee Roth. Her problem is she is a lesbian and she can't get off pussies. The doctor really doesn't see any problem with her, that being a lesbian is quite accepted by society. The problem is it's not accepted by her parents. Well, she needs to have a seat on the couch and they need to talk about this. She's been a lesbian since she was fifteen. Instead of taking note the doctor is drawing dirty pictures of what he would like to do to her. This is an on going theme through out the movie. His pictures are kind of crude and comical and he constantly reassures everyone that he is taking detailed notes. After Avy explains the hows, whys and whens of becoming a lesbian the doctor tells her that maybe she should try cock one last time before breaking her parents heart. He uses one euphemism after another while trying to remain professional. Another on going joke is that he chastities each of his patients for questioning his profession as a sex therapist and his ability to help them. He makes every one of them read his diploma and assures them his office is a clinical setting before banging them. This is all it takes to get Avy naked on the couch bent over his knee before showing her his "pet snake." I am convinced that this is one of the dumbest exchanges I have ever heard in porn, but somehow it seemed to fit in this movie. I don't know how, but it worked in this movie.

"I have never seen a pet snake up close."
"If you pet it, it will spit."

Please! How much cheesier can you get?  For a lesbian she certainly knew what to do with that snake.  Before taking her from behind he told her to bark like a dog sending her into fits of giggles.  By time Dr. Strangelove was done with her she wasn't a lesbian anymore.  The doctor pronounced her cured.

Before his second patient, Keiko, arrived, Dr. Strangelove decided he needed to look through the Kama Sutra for more ideas.  Not sure if it was for what to do to his patients or for ideas for his pictures.  When Keiko arrived, she came across as a shy girl, dressed in a summer dress and heals, trying to be something she wasn't.  She was complaining that she was a tom-boy and upset that her brothers and her friends didn't see her for the woman that she was and that she was never asked out on dates, and therefor didn't have much sexual experience.  Of course, she came to the right place.  Dr. Strangelove could help her, and we all know how he did that.  First, he wanted to know what kind of woman she saw herself as.  Heaven help us all, she saw herself as the June Cleaver type, happy in the kitchen and her marriage.  Her fantasy entails a knight in shining armor making her a woman.  He pulls some bullshit mirroring exercise that ends in him playing with her ass and touching her other ways inappropriately for a doctor.  She's very shy about it but comes around when he shows her is "magic wand of therapy" and starts to enjoy her therapy session a bit more.  Okay, a lot more.  The innocent act never totally goes away one hundred percent but really appreciates her therapy session.

Patient three, Jessica Darlin, has a few more issues than Dr. Strangelove is convinced he can help her with.  She has some pretty bad OCD and is paranoid about germs and lif.  It's pretty bad and needs assurance that his office has been fumigated.  He's assured her it's been hosed down. *wink*.  Of course this paranoid OCD prevents her from having sex.  In her happy place, where there are no germs what does she fantasize about?  Trannies.  Dr. Strangelove can't help her with that.  Anything else?  Men.  She should go with that.  In no time he has her forgetting about germs and acting out her fantasy and he's banging her as he has every one of his other patients.

Roxanne Hall is his next patient who tries to hell him she once banged the entire football team, had a homeless guy put his cock in her mouth and had an intense sexual relationship with her last therapist.  The problem isn't so much that she's a pathological liar, she just has these crazy fantasies.  Maybe if she acts one of them out it will help cure her.  Now, realistically they can't bring in a football team and who wants a homeless guys dick in their mouth.  That only leaves having sex with her therapist.  Appropriate or not, this is therapy and she needs help...

Before the arrival of his last patient he is laminating about how he wishes he didn't have to try so hard to get into these girls pants, that he wishes it were easier.  That's when Lily Thai arrives.  It doesn't get any easier than this.  She's a nympho and is all over him.  He doesn't even have a chance to draw his dirty pictures, I mean take notes before they are on the couch and she is squirting down his dick before he has her in a pile driver over the edge of the couch.  I don't know if it was due to lack of editing or what it was but I had a laugh when she started complaining about rug burn and how she couldn't stay in that position any longer.  In the end she asked how often she needed therapy and he told her three times a week and she asked if she could come four.

That rug burn comment makes me wonder if that is what they meant by reality based, they left in things that should have been taken out during editing for "real sex feel".  It would also explain why in the scene with Keiko why Kurt didn't get the pop shot off right away and we had to sit around for a minute and wait for it when we knew it was supposed to be coming.  Reality based here could very well be a synonym for bad editing.  It didn't take away from the feel of the movie all that much, in fact it all came across as a "we meant to do that" sort of thing.  My major complaint was in the fourth scene with Roxanne Hall the audio was out of sync the first few minutes and I felt like I was watching an old Japanese monster movie.  I was waiting for Godzilla to come crashing in through the door any minute.  The chemistry that Kurt has with his co-stars makes up for it all though.  For one on one boy/girl vanilla sex it's incredibly hot and well worth all the camp.