Where to Boys Aren't This one starts off with a heck of a package. Anything with Tera Patrick and the Love Twins on the cover it is worth a look, at the very least. The feature starts off with a narration over the credits, with some faux-Arabian music. The superstar cast is introduced, with characters beneath their name that may or may not be Arabic. Since this dvd is banned in pretty much all Arab nations, it probably doesn’t make a difference. Possible they are looking to spike sales in Westwood, CA and Dearborn, MI. This sexy adventure is set in a harem. The girls are all dressed in genie-like harem outfits, which is a nice touch. The first scene starts off with a nice all-girl (for the boys aren’t here) with the Love Twins, Lanny Barby and Briana Banks. Lanny has one of those bodies that I could just watch forever, it was built for pleasure. The whole foursome, in fact, is quite sweet on the eyes. It’s some of the best make-up work I’ve seen on the Love Twins, and they look really beautiful as harem concubines. The sex in the scene is pretty much kiss, lick and finger action. Scene two is title “The Lady In the Lamp.” Mercedez is wandering about a palace rooms and finds a magic lamp (who wouldn’t just leave that lying around? She rubs is, and out pops Tera Patrick, asking her what her desire is. Anyone care to guess what that desire is? Does anyone wonder why it took Tony Nelson four freaking seasons to finally bone Jeannie? Mercedez gets right to business. The scene is more kissing and licking, with some action at the end using glass toys. The third part is a g/g/g threesome, in which Lexie Marie and Savanna Sampson give Stefani Morgan a lesson in pleasure (giving and receiving.) There’s a bit of toy usage, but most of it is kissing, licking and munching in a bathtub (and that’s important, for your harem chicks have got to be clean.) The fourth scene features Monique Alexander and Tawny Roberts. Monique’s is another who looks so dang good, I could just stare at her all day. She starts off in her harem bed, pleasing herself. Tawny joins in eventually, and there is a fine bit of pussy eating. All good, as Monique may have one of the prettiest pussies in the business (they ain’t all beautiful, IMHO.) The grand finale is a g/g/g/g/g/g/g (not sure if I got the count right) orgy. Mercedez and Lanny open it up with a belly dance, while the shiek and the other girls all watch. Once the sheikh leaves (I’m really not sure why he had to go, maybe there was a buzkashi game on cable.) The girls break off in to groups, and it’s from then one it’s just a matter of having all the cameras capture the fun. It’s hard to keep track off who was grouped with who, as the camera cuts from action to action a bit; that being said, I got my fill of Lanny, Monique and Twins, so I was happy. It gets noisy, so keep the volume control nearby if you have nosey neighbors. When I give this one a high mark, keep in mind it had one big thing going against it: I’m not a huge fan of lesbian scenes. But, I love some of the girls in this one, they were presented well, the costuming was fun and the direction was quite true to the Arabian Nights concept. Those who like lezzie flicks will enjoy it even more.

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