I've been addicted to porn since Neil Armstrong walked on the moon. Okay, I'm a fossil, but a horny fossil who remembers sitting in the Pussycat Theaters when all they were allowed to show were tits. I've watched the industry grow, and live right at the epicenter of the business. I've sold it. I've reviewed it.
I hate seeing people getting ripped off by crappy porn and am always on the lookout for stuff I can recommend without feeling like a lying bastard for saying a bad DVD is worth it Pink's Cum Scene Investigation 3 -- Makes you want to investigate why this threesome compilation was even made
In the old days of Porn, back before videotape was big, porn studios used to actually make movies (yes, movies that were shown at porn theaters often had clever take-offs of current movie or TV show titles. For example, when the movie 10 came out, one studio released a film called 11. When Edward Scissorhands was released, a studio came out with Edward Penishands.
Perhaps this was why I expected Cum Scene Investigation 3 to have something to do with CSI. I kind of expected a weak pretense of honoring this now classic set of TV shows with some sham investigation or something, but this video let me down. There was no pretense of making this clever title into anything more than a clever title that had nothing to do with its contents.
What Cum Scene Investigation 3 is, is a DVD with five threesome videos (not counting the pretty good 'bonus' video on the DVD. If it matters at all, the name of the ladies in each scene doesn't match the actress listings on my database. I suspect it doesn't matter anyway – what matters is the fucking, sucking, and facials on the DVD.
In the first scene, with Nadia listed at the opening of the scene, she's playing Skeeball at an indoor game place, and is picked up by two guys. They pay her $200 for taking her clothes off, and in a room somewhere, they fuck and suck. She blows them. They choke and bite her. There's one facial – he guy cums in her mouth and she spits it onto her chest. This girl isn't ready for Branon Irons videos – she doesn't appear to like the taste of cum. The second guy cums on her back. He's got a very sensitive dick – she puts her mouth on it, and he makes sounds. (Hey if it's too much for you, tell her to stop. If not, shut the fuck up). She does it for a while longer and, mercifully, this 28 minute scene ends.
The second scene isn't a hell of a lot better. In this 28 minute scene (is there a trend here? It used to be that scenes lasted as long as the film in the camera did. Perhaps the recorder these guys are using has cartridges that only go 28 minutes) Justina is picked up by two guys in a van who are casting for videos. She gets in the van, goes with them for an interview, and tells them that “I don't want to get naked.” But, of course, she does. They have her close her eyes, and when she opens them, two large black cocks are in her face. So, she does what any woman in a room with two strangers waving their cocks in her face would do – the sucks them both. After a while, she gets on her back, one of the guys licks her pussy, and then it's off to the races, as each guy takes turns fucking her. The one who doesn't have his cock in her pussy has it in her mouth. At one point, she complains 'it's too big. I can't get it in my mouth.” She doesn't seem to have a lot of trouble. The scene ends with two facials. At least she doesn't spit it out – but does she swallow? Who knows?
In Scene 3, with Mandy, the threesome features only one guy. The story about this one is that the older of the two ladies is preparing a fashion show, and Mandy is to be her assistant. After trying on some clothes, it's decided that Mandy should be a model. She's asked 'have you ever been with a woman? Have you ever thought about it? Have you ever had a threesome. Do you prefer Obama or McCain?(no, she didn't ask the last oe) ' Mandy's answer is 'no'. The male 'stunt model' takes off his clothes, and both girls blow him. Mandy finally takes her pants off, lays back on the couch, and opens her legs. The other lady says “you said you've never been with a woman? I want to make your experience to the fullest.” Now, I don't have any idea what the last sentence means, but she gets a dildo, puts it into Mandy and starts sucking her clit. There fucking, clit licking, clit rubbing, and finally a facial with the guy cumming on Mandy's face.
The next scene, with Maggie, features Maggy and two older (well, not in teens, twenties or thirties, and probably older than that) who start by paying her $20 for40 minutes (of what?). She's sucking a lollipop. They continue throwing money, she takes her clothes off, the spank her, lick her clit, put the lollipop in her pussy and lick it. That kind of shit. You get the point. She sucks one guy while the other fucks her. They switch off. She keeps that damned sucker in her mouth while sucking the guys. The scene ends with two cum shots – both in her mouth. The second comes from our friend with the sensitive cock – she sucks on him, he makes his sounds, and the scene ends.
The final scene show Dylan in trouble. She has to get $800 to get her car out of the shop. (Interestingly enough, I need to get $800 to keep my electricity and water on, but I don't expect to have Dylan's luck). The two guys in the van tell her they'll give her $200 if she gets in the van with them. Through the course of the scene, she gets her $800 – fucking and sucking. It has the look and feel of a Bang Brothers video, but without the crazy laughing, the degradation of the girl and, I'm assuming the ending, where they toss her out of the van, keep her money and leave her stranded. I get the feeling that, if this was a real situation, and not one made up for the DVD, these gentlemen would take her to the repair shop and wait to see if she can actually get her car back, then give her a way to contact them if she wants to do more work with them.
A bonus scene, from Cream Pie Blowout Volume 1, featuring Katie and two black guys is also pretty well done. These guys are HUNG. She takes a facial, and the other where all cream pies go. At the end, of course, it's nice to watch it all come back out. She gets help, with the guy squeezing her pussy, squeezing her ample clit, and getting some more to drip out.
The menuing system was good – you could go to a scene and select action that scene. If you wanted to make this 2 ½ hour DVD into about five or ten minutes of cum shots, you could use the menus to get to just the cum shots.
There are previews, ads for a website – the usual shit.
Also, inside the Pink Visual Pink case is a card for 30 minutes of download time at the Pink Visual site.
Overall, I was somewhat disappointed that there was no 'investigation' in Cum Scene Investigation. The threesomes were okay (but not great). This isn't being added to my list of classics