Curvy Porn Review The name of this title is Curvy Girls, a celebration of girls with curves.

It opens at a house in the hills with Shyla Styles in a nice leopard bikini. She dances to the accompaniment of some techo-porn cheese music and strips that bikini off. She pours water onto her body, from a bottle that looks like a Dasani with the label ripped off (I'm a Dasani man, so I recognize it.) She engages in a bit of foreplay with her cock, a man I have scene before in EA productions. I don't care what his name is, so I'll call him Johnny Euro-Trash. There is kissing, dry humping, sucking tits, and oral. If you read my review of It's A Secretary Thing you know that I wasn't crazy about Shyla's lack of depth in the bj department. It's the same story here. I mentioned this to a guy in a chat room. He said he thought that deep throat was overrated. Seriously. I mean, what the fuck? When the time for assuming the positions arrives, they start with reverse cowgirl, then some DATY (yawn!) and into the mish from there. Her technique is neither good nor bad; she's a pro and she goes through the motions. Johnny sticks it in the pooh-hole from this position, and this seems to get her attention. The engage in more anal from doggy style (IMHO the best way for rear entry,) and some back-door cowgirl. This is where the scene really cooks. For some reason he eats more pussy (must be hungry) and finally cums in her mouth.

The next scene features Phoenix Marie, teasing around the house in a white dress and matching knock-me-down-and-fuck-me boots. I'm not saying nothing, but she has a glassy look in her eyes that reminds me of every chick in every disco in the 1970s. The t-shirt dress gets wet, and this is a nice lead-in to the nasty bits. The stud is a dork in blue jeans. He is kissing her bum and munching on her box to start. He shows her brown-eye to the camera, just in case we weren't sure she had one. Then he spreads some oil on her cheeks, cause biatches need slippery cheeks. He fucks her doggy-style against the wall, and that's all in good fun. They do some cowgirl action, with her pretty sit-upon bunching like crazy. Some mish, some reverse cowgirl... "Yo director, where's the blow job? A porno without a blow job is like a day without sunshine." Okay, there is is, from the 69 position. It's not a great blow job, but to paraphrase former First Lady Barbara Bush, you're worst blow job is still memorable (she really said that.) It's done in 2 minutes or so, the she does a bit of side-saddle cowgirl. Interesting position. After some filler sex, he cums in her face.

Scene three gives us a Big Lou favorite, Jenaveve Jolie as a frustrated housewife. She puts on her lingerie and decides to seduce the pool boy, played by some skinny bastard. She starts vacuuming in lingerie and high heels, and yo, she can do my housework anytime. It's not like I ever will. After some more chores, skinny bastard must be saying to himself "Damn, another horny housewife, at least it's not one of those gay porno houses." Jenaveve has her nipple rings in, and they look great. He does some titty sucking and pussy eating. She sucks his hog, and she's not afraid to take the whole enchilada, with a bit of tonsil hockey to boot. This is muy bueno (note to Jenaveve, that's Spanish for "very good." She speaks so little Spanish, she can't even say no in that language.) Skinny then gives her a rim job, albiet a short one, then fucks her "de perrito" over the kitchen counter. She lifts her leg over his arm to great effect. He lifts her up into his a mish (she's a tiny thing, don't you know) and they head for the bed for a modified spoon. Honestly, I don't know what this position is, left my kama-sutra at the Korean massage parlor, but it's nice. We got the RCG, MISH, CG, all nice, more doggy, and she is giving her all. He cums in her face... what a suprise. Hey EA, there are other places to send your splooge. Anyway, it's a nice scene.

The fourth act opens with Adrenalynn (clever name, kind of corny but it will google well) washing the car. I've never seen her before, only talked to her in a chat room, and she's a hottie. Her iafd listing has her down as caucasian, but she looks filipina or happa to me (maybe the data entry was confused, and had wanted to put his cock in the asian.) The soapy stuff and car were nice, but I fast-forwarded, as this girl really needs to be boned. She starts off with a mostly pov oral scene. At this point I notice her plethora of tattoos. I guess someone told her they looked good and she got more, we really got to stop lying to pretty girls. There's not nearly enough of this pov oral, and they quickly move to 69. There is then a brief bit of RCG, and back to the oral. At this point her cock, wimpy fucker, shows us her a-hole, and we see that there is a tattoo with writing around the o-ring. I couldn't read the writing, and honestly it's one of the lamest tats I have ever seen. They then go back to reverse cowgirl, some titty fucking. a traditional spoon (she screams and there are three studs in her tongue. I'm down with that, but why didn't the director show me more of them in the oral section?) He does her mish with some acrobatics (she be bendy,) more titty fucking with oral (if I were fucking her, I would,) some doggy style, some foot-sucking, back to mish, and finally a cumshot to the face (go figure.)

The closing scene has Alexis Texas in bed, wearing nothing but a white sheet (which she soon loses. She's a cutie, and she's making me like girls from Texas. Nice Rachel Green haircut on her, too, even if it is 12 years too late. She is joined in the bed by Mr. Pete. He's a professional, non-distraction cock, so I'll refer to him by name. He munches her punani from behind and slaps that cute white butt. There is some butt-check fucking and he spends some time playing with dat ass. Texas sweeties must be fucked, so he bangs her doggy style. She does some fine oral, deep, nice tongue action, all good and for the camera. I'm just wondering why she stops after 2 minutes, I could have watched that for 20. He does her standing doggy, first against the wall and then against the window. He then does a standing missionary against the window. It looks like they rented one of those nice lofts in downtown L.A. Back on the bed they do some CG and some side-spooning (she likes it, hey Mikey!) He then cums on her face, and you could have knocked me over with a feather on that one. Five scenes, five facials. My only complaint about this scene is that it was too short. I'm gonna have to watch me some more Alexis Texas dvds.

One point of order: The dvd is called Curvy Girls, but two of the girls are not what I would call curvy. Jenaveve has a little butt (a nice little butt, but a little butt all the same.) Adrenalynn has almost no butt, which is why I thought she was asian.

Bonuses: Behind the scenes, pop-shot recap, photo gallery, trailers, website info, and more adult fun (phone sex ads, yippy-skippy.) You don't buy EA for the bonuses.

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