House Guest Adult Video Review This feature is 2 years old, but I have a copy lying around and noticed no one else had reviewed it, so la-de-da.

Tom Byron is having a party, and it appears to be a cum as you are.

The feature opens with Tom escorting Stefani Morgan to a bedroom, where she and Tommy Gunn go at it with not so much as a howdy-do. Some cheese music plays as they enjoy some foreplay and cunnilingus, and honestly I was more interested in Stefani’s hot bod then the DATY. He spends way too much time snacking for my taste, and she eventually blows him. Nothing wrong with this blow job, but nothing great about it, either. He smacks her on the rump a few times. I guess his daddy never told him that you’re not supposed to hit girls. They have a short bit of 69, and he then bangs her mish-style (with a condom.) He spoons her briefly, so briefly that I’m not sure why he started. She straddles him for RCG, which is not so bad as Stefani has one of the more attractive biscuits in the business. He does her doggy and then splooges on her chest (nice choice, I think that’s where i would have chosen to splooge her.)

Scene 2 has Kimberly Kane, looking even whiter than normal, and some cock with the strange name of Huntington. Not sure why he chose it, I guess Fountain Valley was already taken. The sound is pretty bad on this one. There’s a bit of ambient noise, so they have to tracks turned down the cheese music turned up. At one point, during the opening blow job on the stairs, the camera person decides we need to see the zits on Kimberly’s ass (“Hello, make-up!” What, they couldn’t lose that in editing?) It’s not much in the fellatio department, she only works the tip (though I do like the pink lipstick.) They then swith to doggy style, with more close-ups of Kimberly’s ass zits. The camera work gets preppy sloppy on this scene. He rim jobs her on the stairs briefly, and I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, but I’ll be damned if I would like a girl’s ass, no matter how much she cleans it. Kimberly mounts her stud for some RCG. She’s definitely not a screamer (shame she’s not my old roommate’s girlfriend, that bi-zatch made freaking noise.) I was like, “Yo, someone in the next room.” She then sits on his face, which is a nice idea, but it doesn’t work. She mounts him for CG, again with the extreme close ups. Maybe the problem is the lighting, and the director needs to know that you don’t like a porn scene the same way you light a bar mitzvah video. They finish with a facial. Overall, this is not much of a scene, which is a shame, because Kimberly is a hottie and deserves better.

It’s girl/girl time for scene three with Stefanie and Faith Leon, who is freaking pretty. Here face is cute as hell and her pussy is shaved in my favorite style, a nice landing strip. I’m surprised I haven’t really noticed her before. They exchange licks and play with toys. Faith’s pussy licking technique is very camera friendly. If I had a pussy, I would definitely let her lick it. They then take out the toy, a plastic dildo. Sadly, the production quality is also bad. Without Faith and Stefani, I would have lost interest.

Back to b/g world, as Kate Frost and Jerry go at it on the couch. After some spanking, Kate gives him a nice blow job. The camera angle is so extreme, I can see much of it. In fact, up to this point I’ve barely gotten a look at her face. That’s sort of a pet peeve of mine, I like to see the chick who’s getting balled. It’s 69 time, then she sits on his face. At this point I finally see a shot Kate’s face, and I almost wish I hadn’t (maybe it’s just a bad make-up day, I don’t know.) Jerry takes out the big salami and does her mish, doggy (maybe Kate’s best position, especially when she’s flat on the couch,) reverse cowgirl (there is a nice shot of the rings in her pussy, as well as some really bad editing,) and finally cowgirl with a facial cumshot.

The final scene has Faith and Tom Byron. I’m down for seeing the cutest girl in this feature being serviced by an old pro. There’s a bit of foreplay, and a blow job with some good hand work. She doesn’t go very deep, so it’s nice she uses them hands. He even tries to send it deep; apparently she needs to take a trip to Santa Clarita and get a lesson from Heather, the deep throat queen. The camera angles are even worse on this one, and at one point I didn’t know what part of her body I was watching (and it ain’t like I need a map.) Tom takes her doggy, and it’s a pleasure to see her fine white butt. She goes CG, the RCG, and she gives a nice reaction to the pounding meat puppet. Reminds me of why I will take a b-cup brunette over a d-cup blonde any day. Brunettes try harder to please. He moves to missionary, which she also seems to enjoy, and finishes by cumming in her mouth.

I can see why J Bleazy only directed one other Vivid feature (The Visitor, also released in 2006.) His work is plebian, to say the least. He’s got 3 great girls in this one and it’s a waste of talent. The camera work is embarassing for a Vivid feature. It reminds me of those bad movies I used to see on Spice back in the early 90’s (most of which are now marketed as “classics.”) Big Lou says: Skip it and find some other Stefani Morgan, Kimberly Kane and Faith Leon titles.

DVD Features: Positions room, 5 bonus scenes, photo galleries, more adult fun (commercials,) Vivid Products (more commercials,) Vivid Previews (still more commercials) and The Web (commercials on the net.)

Interested in seeing this movie?