Not Bewitched XXX

There was a bit of controversy surrounding Not Bewitched XXX.  Everyone was sure it was going to follow in the footsteps of Not the Brady's XXX and be distributed by Larry Flint Productions.  Brady's had quite the success there and everyone would expect that Will Ryder would want to duplicate it with his next big spoof of a 60's sitcom.  X-Play has a distribution agreement with both LFP and Adam and Eve and this time around decided to go with Adam and Eve.  Maybe they are testing the waters to see where they have better success.  Maybe there are just spreading the wealth.  Whatever the reason, Not Bewitched XXX lives up to the hype and Adam and Eve picked up a gold mine.

Will Ryder pays so much attention to details, it's like being back in the 1960's watching the original show, not that I was alive then, I watched the reruns in the 70's.  You thought I was going to say I watched it on Nick at Night didn't you?  Darren is still stressed from living with Samantha and having her nutty witch relatives pop in and out, Gladys is still nosy as hell, and Dr. Bombay clueless as ever but that is where the similarities end.


Not Bewitched Cast

Let's start with the casting, it's incredible.  I am not sure that if another cast had been chosen it could have worked as well.  There is one slight problem, there will be a few Nina Hartley fans who will be upset that she had a non-sex roll.

Jenna Haze - Samantha
Mike Horner - Darren
Tegan - Tabatha
Ron Jeremy - Dr. Bombay
Nina Hartley - Endora
Eva Angelina - Aunt Clara
Michell Avanti - Gladys
Dino Bravo - Abner
James Bartholet - Larry

The supporting cast was just as great and the movie couldn't have happened without them.

Sasha Gray, Aaron Wilcoxx, Sunny Lane, Auora Snow, Jack Lawrence (non-sex roll), Dane Cross, Nathan Threat, James Deen and every member of Dr. Bombay's harem.


The Not Bewitched Story

It's Tabatha's first birthday and Samantha has to run out briefly to pick up party favors.  Aunt Clara has been put in charge of baby sitting.  What can go wrong?  Apparently everything.  Aunt Clara wants to see what Tabatha will look like as an 18 year old (turns out she looks very much like porn starlet Tegan) and Darren's boss, Larry, invites himself over for the birthday party.  To make matters worse, the nosy neighbor, Glady's, is being extra nosy and giving her husband, Abner, the play by play of everything that is happening.  Abner, in true form, never removes from his comfortable chair where he is reading the newspaper.  Of course, Aunt Clara can't remember how to reverse the spell so Tabatha is stuck as a horny 18 year old witch.  What is really funny about the entire thing is that Endora is the only one who is willing to talk to Tabatha about the birds and the bees and is more than frank about it all.  When you consider that Endora is played by Nina Hartley of the ever popular sex ed series "Nina Hartley's Guide to..." (all put out by Adam and Eve) it's just hysterical.  Samantha and Darren (especially Darren) are freaking out about their little girl being interested in sex while Endora is practically encouraging it.  Larry arrives for the birthday party and things go from bad to worse with Dr. Bombay popping in with harem girls and Larry being turned into a dog.  The next day curiosity gets the better of Tabatha and she starts bringing her dolls to life prompting Glady's to call the police.  "Hello, police?  I would like to report a Negro."  Finally, with the help of Dr. Bombay and a medical student who also delivers pizza's, Aunt Clara is able to save the day without to many mishaps.  But it's what happens between that makes for a welcome and amusing sexual parody of a favorite sitcom. 


Not Bewitched Has 7 Sex Scenes

The question still isn't answered of what exactly is it that Darren does.  We just know that he has some big account that he is working on and Larry is being unbearable again.  In Larry's world the account is more important than Tabatha's first birthday party and Darren can't get him to see things his way.  Being the insensitive boss he is, Larry tells Darren he will come over for the party then the two of them can take the people they are trying to impress out on the town where they can win the account.  But first, there are a couple of models, Sasha Gray and Aaron Wilcox, that need to borrow Darren's office to practice their presentation for this account.  Given that the two of them are now alone the account is the last thing on their mind and Darren is probably going to want to clean his desk before using it again.

The look on Larry's face when he walks in moments afterward and the two of them are still naked is classic.  It brings that element of "Oh god, we have to acknowledge sex" to the movie that never happened during any sitcom of the 60's.

Samantha is on the phone to Darren explaining what Aunt Clara has done and Darren is really stressed because Larry has invited himself over.  I really hope his doctor had prescribed him some good meds for his blood pressure.  I really think Darren needed them.  Darren told Larry he had to go home early to take care of a few things and was met by his now teenage daughter, his wife and her crazy family.  Endora explains that Tabatha now knows everything that an 18 year old witch would know, since she aged appropriately with the spell.  Oh, and she's horny.  Seems 18 year old witches only come in extra horny.  Darren's head is about to explode.  Tabatha excuses herself to go lay down.  Well, at least that is what she says.  She apparently needs to do something about that horny problem and since there are no boys around the only option is masturbation.

When her fingers don't cut it, she uses magic to conjure up a vibrator.  For once a logical explanation for a sex toy coming out of thin air in porn!  LOL!  You would have thought she would have conjured up a sex toy that was a bit more quite, but not the case.  If the noise was any indication that thing had some horse power to it.  It sounded like the thing was ready to take off and go into orbit.  Sated she falls asleep.

It's finally party time and Larry arrives.  Lucky for everyone he can't lay off the scotch and although everything confuses him, it works to Darren's favor later.  Especially when Dr. Bombay pops in out of nowhere with a couple of harem girls (Sunny Lane and Auora Snow).  When the situation is explained to Dr. Bombay, he tells the family that he will get with some top scientists he knows to see if they can come up with an antidote for Aunt Clare's spell.  Meanwhile he wants to get back to his "Adult Friendfinder" mission in the desert (he's finding adult friends the old fashioned way, this is before the Internet) because he has an entire harem of them waiting for him back home.  Moments later he returns with Tabatha who was trying to sneak a peek.  What exactly was she trying to sneak a peek at? 

The harem girls and their orgy including daisy chains, toys and strap-ons.  Dr. Bombay is one happy man.  With all that going on, it's no wonder he's usually clueless.  He's brain is occupied on what is going on back at home.

Morning arrives and things still aren't back to normal but at least a good night sleep has but Darren in better spirits.  He's not as stressed and he's feeling frisky.  Ah...the effects of morning wood...

Just as Darren came all over Samantha's face, Endora popped in.  "Samantha! I was hoping for another grandchild!"  She is gone as fast as she came.  We should be all be glad our mother-in-law's can't do that.

Samantha has more errands to run and this time leaves Tabatha in the more than capable hands of Endora.   At least things can't get any worse.  Tabatha is left to listen to records and play with her dolls.  Oddly, she has two boy dolls and is wondering if they are anatomically correct and how large their penes are.  She starts with the Negro doll and brings him to life.  The now life sized doll (Nathan Threat) is chasing her around the outside of the house trying to have sex with her.  Gladys, from next door, is more freaked out than ever about the strange goings on and calls the police.  "Hello, Police?  I would like to report a Negro."  By time Officer Jack Lawrence arrives, Tabatha and Endora have him turned back into a harmless doll.  Glady's looks insane and Endora is left explaining to Tabatha about how Negroes (don't you just love 60's terminology?) want sex constantly and are savage about it.  Gladys is left alone in the living room and sits down on the couch to talk to the doll with some nostalgia about how she dated a Negro in college and accidentally says the spell words and the doll comes back to life.  After two seconds of hesitation, Glady's forgets about Abner who still hasn't moved from his chair and his newspaper.

Endora and Tabatha return to find the two of them asleep on the couch and Tabatha turns him back into a doll.  Endora "takes out the garbage" where Samantha doesn't find it when she returns home.  Tabatha, on the other hand, has become more curious than ever and tells her other doll it's time and takes him to her bedroom and brings him to life where he turns into James Deen.  James was great.  He remained doll stiff for a few minutes and delivered the line "Me so horny".  

When she was done with James she turned him back into a doll.  Just in time too because her parents returned home, and Aunt Clara was there.  Dr. Bombay showed up as well with a medical student, Dr. Dane,  who also delivered pizzas.  Darren and Samantha both about have heart attacks when Tabatha offers to take care of the payment but Aunt Clare steps up and says she will do it, after all, she's the one that caused the problem.  No one likes that idea either, mostly because it means that there is talk of sex, but it's what has to be done so everyone goes out for ice cream and lets Aunt Clare do the deed.

Everything works out in the end.  Tabatha is baby/toddler again.  Aunt Clare is dating the med student/pizza guy,  Darren landed the big account and Larry believes that he had a dream where a genie popped out of a scotch bottle and Tabatha was 18.


Not Bewitched is Keeper

I think the hype is right, this one is going to be up for a comedy nomination at the very least following in the steps of Not the Brady's XXX.  In fact, Not the Brady's almost feels like a warm up for Not Bewitched.  I wouldn't be surprised if it didn't get a few more nominations or awards.  Will Ryder and X-Play show how parodies should be done.  For more information about Not Bewitched XXX visit the movies website.