Pirates II

Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge boasts 600 special effects and a budget 10 times that of the original Pirates movie making it the most expensive adult feature on record.  There will be some people disappointed initially with the short sex scenes (despite there being 10 of them), but investigation of the four DVD set will quickly reveal extended sex scenes that will keep everyone happy including a bonus sex scene between Katsuni, Belladonna and Stoya.

Sex, action, comedy, pirates, skeleton warriors...there is something in this movie for everyone. 


The Cast of Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge

You can't have Pirates II without Evan Stone as Captain Reynolds or Tommy Gunn as Victor Stagnetti.

Steven St. Croix also returned to the cast as Marco bringing the same self-esteem problems he had in the first-movie.  Joining the cast in a main roll was Belladonna as Olivia, Serena's cousin, and later we would see Sasha Gray show up as Maria, Jenna Haze as a slave girl, Shawna Lenee as one of the Governor's Girls, Rhylee Richards and Brianna Love as "fan girls" of Captain Edwards.

Digital Playground cast a number of their contract girls in both major and minor roles.  What better place to showcase your biggest talent than in the biggest feature of the year, just not for Digital Playground but for any studio? Jesse Jane reprized her role as Jules, Captain Reynolds first mate, Shay Jordan joined the cast as Ai Chow (doing her first ever girl/boy/boy scene), Katsuni as Xifeng (beauty has never been so deadly),  Riley Steele made her first appearance ever in a feature, Stoya and Gabriella Fox were both belly dancers in the movie.

So many other people made appearances it was hard to keep track of everyone and the outstanding costuming and makeup sometimes made it just a bit harder to decide who all was in the movie.  You just aren't used to seeing Manuel Ferrara dressed as a pirate.  If it wasn't for his "I love Fiona" tattoo I probably would have missed Marco Banderas.   James Deen and Mick Blue played the two crew members on hand for Shay Jordan's first girl/boy/boy three-way, I thought it was them but wasn't 100% sure until the credits.  If you don't pay attention you may miss that Brea Lynn, Abbey Brooks, Veronica Rayne are playing servant girls.

Other characters/cast:
 Governor Lyttlelton: Ben English
Oxford: Frank Bukkwyd
Wu Chow: Wu Chow
Bernard: Jules Van Damme
Captain Xafir: Anton Michael
Takvor: Zaff B


Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge

The story opens where the first movie left off.  Captain Reynolds has just left port from dropping off Isabella and Manuel to their island and was unable to procure complete repairs for the Sea Stallion they are off to another port to finish repairs.  Wu Chow's sister, Ai has come aboard and does much to keep the crew happy with her "Buddhist massaging techniques".  Yes, the captain is as clueless as ever as to the goings on on his ship.


Serena has been left behind because she is wanted dead by the king for acts of piracy and her cousin, Olivia has joined the crew to help secure her pardon for her part in killing Victor Stagnetti.  The killing of Victor Stagnetti...there is much debate throughout the movie about who was really responsible.  Was it Captain Reynolds or was it Wu Chow?  Reynolds stands by it was his fearless bravery and his orders that lead them to victory while everyone else maintains that it was Wu Chow who fired the cannons that did him in and that full credit should go to Wu Chow.  Reynolds ego has a hard time with this and he spends a good deal of time in argument about it.

Speaking of Reynolds ego, I expected less of it and more of Stagnetti, but Evan Stone's character provided much comedy.

After finally making port with a broken rudder, Reynolds and Jules arrive at Governor Littlelton's estate only to be kept waiting while he engages in a bit of pirate role-playing with Riley Steele and Shawna Lenee.  He's a pirate looking for the governors gold and Riley and Shawna are the governors daughters willing to give up something else if it means saving their lives and their fathers.

Needless to say, Captain Reynolds is put off having been kept waiting for an hour and even more insulted when the Governor is more interested in staring at Jules chest than acknowledging his presence.  The Governor finally explains that even if he wanted to, he couldn't pardon Serena, the king wants her dead, it doesn't matter that she helped killed Stagnetti.  However, there may be a deal to be struck.  Recently the Archbishop was murdered for a pearl of sentimental value by the pirate Xifeng.  If Xifeng is killed and the pearl returned he is sure that something can be worked out for Serena.  Jules accepts the mission for them.

Back on the Sea Stallion Olivia approaches Jules about staging a mutiny against the captain.  She is convinced she can do a better job and that Captain Edward Reynolds is going to get them all killed.  When Jules refuses and defends the captain Olivia accuses her of being his whore instead of his first mate.  This isn't something that is going to be won by a cat fight, but rather a grudge fuck.

With a broken rudder there is no way the Sea Stallion can make the trip.  Some checking around town it's learned that Xifeng will be setting sail in the morning for an island called Shebulba.  Oxford is left in charge of the repairs with Wu and Reynolds and Jules set out to find passage.  Olivia insists on going with them.  When Reynolds doesn't let her she and Ai disappear on their own.

Captain Reynolds finds himself as a spectator in Takvor's slave auction talking to a blind pirate about Xifing who wants him to bid on a slave girl played by Jenna Haze for him.  When they are constantly outbid by another Reynolds and his ego decides that he isn't going to be out done and raises the bidding to something no one in the room is going to be able to afford.  He not only wins the slave girl, but he wins the temporary friendship of Takvor.  Reynolds is invited to share his tent, food and watch an orgy before taking pleasure in his own slave.

Meanwhile Jules has found her way into Xifing's tent and is taken prisoner and turned into the willing slave of Xifing with the help of some rather powerful squid juice.  Jules leads Xifing right to Captain Reynolds in Takvor's tent.  He is captured and thrown in the pit to fight for his life against a giant man eating slug creature.  Olivia is in the audience watching and comes to Edwards rescue jumping on the back of the creature and killing it without problem.  I really have to wave the bullshit flag here because even when faced with man eating creatures, Obi-wan and Anakin had major problems and they were Jedi with Force powers.  My point is, this creature killing was all just a little too easy.  Hey, I don't care how great something is, it's bound to have one flaw.  This was it.  This could have been a really cool action sequence and it just didn't happen.  However, the important thing is that Captain Reynolds lived to see another day.  We are also introduced to Maria who is willing to help to forward her own interests.  She wants Reynolds to help rescue her sister who was kidnapped and sold into slavery.  It's her ship that Reynolds and Olivia obtain passage on.  It is no realized that the pearl that was stolen from the Archbishop is going to be used to resurrect Victor Stagnetti.

Ai has been kidnapped by a member of Reynolds crew and taken to the tavern where Marco tends to hang out, cry and drown his sorrows in beer.  Marco is still pining away for Jules, who he now believes to be dead since he set the building she was in with Captain Reynolds on fire in the last movie.  Reynolds crew mate knows what sort of woman Ai is and believes she can make him forget Jules.  After all, she has wonderful massage skills and can "make his happy come out".

Ai falls in love with Marco's love making skills and tells him she loves him and that he is the best lover she has ever had and demands he marry her.

Through a series of events Xifing finds the watery burial spot of Stagnetti before Edward and brings him back to life with her weird supernatural powers.  She even gives him Jules to show her continuing allegiance to him.

Next we see  Edward he is alone in his cabin frustrated.  Jules is under the spell of Xifing, Stagnetti is back, and still no one believes that he was able to defeat Stagnetti in the first place and that he will do it a second time.  A knock at the door reveals two crew members, Rhylee Richards and Brianna Love, who turn out to be his biggest fans.  They want to hear the story about how he defeated Stagnetti.  Instead of telling them about the skeleton warriors he invents some lavish story about a killer porcupine with three lions heads and scorpions tail to impress them.  Oddly it worked.  It worked very well.


Reynolds and crew finally meet up with Stagnetti, Xifing and crew for the epic battle.  Belladonna and Katsuni put on quite the sword show.  There were more skeleton warriors and even some sort of huge sea creature that was threatening to eat Reynolds.  Reynolds is saved by Wu and his cannon work only after Marco agrees to marry Ai.

After defeating Xifing, Olivia decided it was time to take on Stagnetti.  The mast on the boat gave way knocking both her and Jules to the deck.  Edward arrives just in time to prevent Stagnetti from killing Olivia and they have a sword battle to the death.  Once again, Captain Reynolds defeats Stagnetti killing him...or at least he thinks he has killed him because his body has disappeared when he looks back.  No one is quite sure what has become of Stagnetti now, even Edward, but he stands by the fact he killed him, again, even if no one was there to see it.  Olivia does acknowledge that he saved her life and Jules has been released from Xifings spell with no memory of what happened.

Maria now wants to turn the ship around and go look for her sister.  Edward wants to return to the Governor to get Serena's pardon.  With a little convincing from Maria and Oliva Edward agrees that they should return to Shebulba to find Maria's sister.

Marco learns that Jules isn't dead and explains to her that he has learned a lot about himself since they last met and that Ai makes him happy.  He's telling her this almost as much to convince her as he is to convince himself.  It doesn't stop Jules from coming onto him, trying to get into his pants one last time.  Ai walks in and becomes noticeably upset.  "You don't love me!"  Jules tries to explain that she was just kissing him good-bye and Marco tells her that he loves her.  Ai smiles, "OK, you can fuck her."  Turns out she doesn't care who helps him "make the happy come out" as long as he loves her.  Marco has an idea...


Stagnetti's Revenge Lives Up To The Pirates Name

Often a sequel falls short of the original movie.  That isn't the case with Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge.  As I said, I did expect to see more of Stagnetti and a bit less of Captain Edward Reynolds ego.  I waited months to see Tommy Gunn as Victor Stagnetti only to find out he was in a small fraction of the movie but it didn't make the movie any less enjoyable.  I am a huge fan of Evan Stone's comedic performances, and there was no shortage of Evan Stone delivering the comedy.   The way the movie was tied up, or wasn't tied up, left room for a potential sequel.  I, for one, would welcome a third Pirates movie.  The costuming and sets were outstanding.  A lot of care went into both helping make the movie what it was.  This is really one of those  movies that has to be watched because words can not do it justice.  It is features like this that will one day bridge the gap that exists between porn and mainstream movies and make people realize that many of the people in adult entertainment are legitimate actors and actresses, they have just made that decision to have sex in front of the camera as well.  Joone out did himself and it's my bet that Pirates II: Stagnetti's Revenge will see more AVN nominations and awards than the first movie.