Kim Kardashian SuperStar Review

Yeah, before they were stars, uhh sorry… before she or he was a star… never mind, before anybody knew they existed, comes this video log of their then-relationship and vacation in Cabo Mexico.  This video log of their vacation and THEN their sex scenes is kinda fun “if” she Kim Kardashian had directed it, since Ray J suffers from a severe illness that affects his motor abilities hence his camera troubles. (I’m just fucking with Ray J, he’s just a r’tard).

This movie is divided in scenes (believe it or not) funny thing is that you see in the cover of the movie some text claiming: “uncut, UNEDITED, uncensored, unbelievable” and I seriously doubt Ray J had the capacity to split this video on scenes and add some music and blur the people around them so they don’t get recognized. Seriously Vivid guys? unedited? I mean it’s not bad edition, it’s just a soft lie. Anyway, this movie is kinda entertaining if you don’t see it just for the sex (which I didn’t) I just wanted to have cheap laughs and a good time while I catch a glimpse of Kim’s big ass.

Round 1:  This scene is called “Los Angeles” it’s the opening scene and it’s a sex scene (kinda) you get to listen to Kim scream “yeah baby, yeah” most of the time and just watch Ray J and some eenie meenie tiny bit of Kim’s buttocks. I mean, Ray J, most of the people out there is not into you and you filmed yourself not Kim, dumbass! Let’s give him a C for the effort and for the steady camera.



Round 2:  “The Next Morning” is a scene taped in the Los Angeles Airport (LAX) no sex here, just Kim showing her toes to Ray J and Ray J soaking orange juice over his T-shirt sleeve (don’t blame him, I’ve been telling you he’s suffering from an illness). Anyway, Kim is always against Ray J filming the ceiling, the floor, her feet and her sunglasses, I think she knew he’s no director and wanted him all the time to turn the damn camera off.

 

Round 3:  “Plane ride” it’s a brief scene where Ray J shows us they’re traveling first class and tries to film something at the window for us (since he’s always talking to third persons), bad thing is he only tapes the sea, so everything is blue and Kim continues plaguing him about turning the camera off. For her luck, at that time the flight crew announces: “Ladies and gentlemen we’re arriving to Cabo San Lucas, so please turn your shit off and fasten your seatbelts”. Ray J says good bye for a little bit since he turns on the camera again in the way from the plane to the airport so we can see the floor and the sky with his shaky recordings.

 

Round 4:  “Cabo San Lucas” finally we’re here in Ray J and Kim’s room she’s unpacking while he’s filming again whatever comes his way, (meaning the ceiling, floor, or even his face). He’s kinda philosophic talking about more black people in the hotel and how black people are now rich and it’s good. Kim insists he should turn that shit off and start unpacking. I believe it is kinda annoying to have your partner filming all the time and not paying attention to you and just talking a lot of nonsense believing he’s the next Tony Robbins when he’s not.  Sorry for you Kim.

 

Round 5: “Life is a beach”, we see the couple walking towards the big ass pool and ordering drinks without knowing their room number, to add the drinks to their tab. They go to the beach and Kim looks excited and ready to jump in with him, but dumbass Ray J doesn’t want to because the camera it’s not waterproof. Yes it is, she claims, hoping the camera to die and start really enjoying the trip. He doesn’t go for it, so she doesn’t go for a swim and you see them later by the pool, he’s filming the pool water, the sky, the floor etc. and when he gives the camera to Kim so she can film, you get a break since she’s got Spielberg’s arm to film, but since she hates the stupid camera, you can guess what happened next. Ray J turns it on again after a while and you can see them (since he lets the camera on the edge of the pool) calmly swimming and enjoying the sunset while hugging together, that was some experience.

 

Round 6: “Ready to party” it’s about Ray J talking nonsense to the shaky camera while waiting for Kim to get ready and go clubbing. I wish his motor abilities were better though. Kim doesn’t get tired to tell him to turn that shit off.

 

Round 7: “Clubbing in Cabo” it’s by far the longest scene in this video log and show us from the cab ride to the club, to all show that Ray J did in the club, of course nobody knew him there, and there was a lot of American people watching him impersonate Michael Jackson for fun in this Mexican club called “Las Calandrias”. After a lot of fooling around you get to remember, “hey, isn’t this a sex tape?” and your wish came true:

 

Round 8: “Santa Barbara” this video was shot one year after Cabo San Lucas trip, which leads you to the question: “was Ray J that wasted that he couldn’t even pound Kim’s ass back in Cabo??” But, who cares? Let’s enjoy finally this sex scene (hoping there are some good shots). You can see a glimpse of Kim’s big juicy ass, her tits (and big nipples) and her BJ skills that are actually amazing for me, since you may think she’s just a face (and ass) and not a performer. But she sucks that cock in a way that makes you realize God is great. Oh yeah, and he pounds her pussy, but enough about him.

My gift 4 you 4 stopping by!! 

Overall this movie is entertaining if you want to see more than sex (meaning ceilings, floors, sky, walls, ears, eyes, sunglasses) Ray J is no Spielberg, shit, he’s not even the Blair Witch Project guy!! But you get to enjoy this movie if you’re not in just for the sex and you can actually wait to see Kim’s attributes at all their splendor (kinda). I give this movie a 3.5 rating in good hopes Reggie Bush can make a better job at the camera or at least leave the technology to Kim Kardashian next time…

ENJOY!!

 ZACARIAS BLANCO OUT!!...

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