Nailin' Palin

With the presidential election just days away, Who's Nailin' Paylin? brings welcome relief from the world of campaign speeches, hours of gridlock traffic in my small town not equip to handle excess traffic due to visits from the candidate's, and non-stop campaign ads.  It doesn't matter who you are, or are not voting for, when it comes to porn nothing is sacred and everything is fair game.  It just makes it easier when there is a porn actress (Lisa Ann) that looks just like a political candidate and that political candidate has one scandal after another following her and promotes political beliefs that she has trouble enforcing in her own family? 

Despite all that, I couldn't help but laugh  through out the movie as everything she has ever said was turned into a sexual euphemism or innuendo.  It was great.

Since Russia "is our neighbor", it is only natural that the movie opened with two Russians, played by Mick Blue and Sascha, would show up at her door, in a tank, claiming a flat tire where they could "drill" her.  This is foreign relations at it's best.

It was even better when Mike Horner came on as a parody of Bill O'Riely to explain Palin's diplomatic relations with the Russians.  After watching Mike Horner, I vote that he be hired to replace O'Riely, he's more entertaining.

Holly West, in her role as a government aide, tried to help Paylin by teaching her words to use in exchange for "You betcha".  That didn't work well, and she gave up sending Paylin on her way.  Hiding in Holly's closet was Alec Knight, who played the "Mr. Sara Palin".  The second his wife left, he was out of the closet and Holly looked at him, "What a fucking airhead."  Holly, I am sure a lot of Americans agree with that statement.  Airhead or not, Alec "Todd Palin" Knight wanted her to put on glasses and act like his wife.  There was something about backdoor politics.  In political circles, that means butt sex!

Back home, the Mayor of Alaska is in bed, wearing nothing but heals, her beauty queen tiara and her Miss Alaska sash mumbling in her sleep about having to bury all the skeletons.  We get two flashbacks of her life.  The first is of her seducing her husbands best friend and business partner, Scott Richter (played by Lee Stone). 

The second is of a young woman in collage, played by Sindee Jennings, at the University of I-da-Ho in a class on dinosaurs.  Apparently, she was the only smart one in the class, even though she told Professor Evan Stone that the Jurassic Period never existed and was created by Satan to confuse humans.  Even though he told she was right, she still needed some after class instruction.

The next morning, at her press conference, she addressed her alleged infidelity, sort of.  She was horribly evasive and went on to talk about how it was all really about the economy.  Lisa Ann could have been Palin up there giving that speech.  In fact, it's my understanding from reading an interview with Lisa Ann about Who's Nalin' Paylin? that a lot of the dialog used was taken directly from crazy things Sara Palin has actually said.  After she was done with her political speech, she looked down under the podium and told Nina Hartly, who was playing Hillary Clinton, that it was "hard to give a speech with her licking her woo-woo".  I love Nina's response.  "I am tired of all this bi-partisanship.  Can't we just be bi?"  The two of them quickly retreated to a back room where the conference was being held to finish what was started under the podium.  They were soon interrupted by Jada Fire playing Condi Rice.  She wasn't going to rat them out, but when Bush was out of office there was a tape that was bound to surface of her, Cheney, and a number of other political figures and Chuck Norris and she wanted them to convince the media to turn the other way.  Assured that wasn't going to be a problem, Condi joined them for a three way.

Who's Nalin' Paylin? was classic.  Political satire and parody at it's best.  If only this type of humor was embraced more by the mainstream public political coverage wouldn't be so boring.  What's even better is that Lisa Ann said in an interview was that she was going to give copies of this movie to all of her friends that voted for McCain as Christmas presents.  Personally, I think it should be offered at the exit polls to reward voters for their turnout.  I can't wait to see the sequel that is currently in the works, Obama's Nalin' Paylin' , for a look at what has happened on the campaign trail.