Jenna Loves Diamonds
This 2008 release was actually shot in 2002, which according to Jenna her-own-self is when most of her features currently being released were shot. I had a chance to meet Jenna at the Webmaster Access convention in L.A. a few weeks ago, and of all the questions I could have asked her... i.e. "Do you like chubby guys?" "What's up with your face?" "How about the NCAA Bowl Championship Series, does it totally bite or what?" I asked her why she is always smoking in her features. I am a non-smoking advocate from way back, from the days when everyone could smoke anywhere, anytime. She said she shot almost all of her features back when she was chain smoking, and just did it on set out of habit. Hopefully she's giving up the tars now that she is preggo with twins.


Scene One: A lesbian scene with Jenna and Kendall Karlson. It opens with Jenna being invited to a club, which she goes to. When we see her at the club, she is smoking (gross!) The entertainment arrives on stage. Jenna and her friend are the only people in the club. Don't laugh, I've played those dives. It turns out the nosey babe onstage (Dru Berrymore) is a hypnotist. Jenna and Kendall imagine themselves in a lesbian fantasy. How come this never happened at any of the clubs I played? The most creative thing anyone in a club I played ever imagined was spiders in the walls.

Rundown: Masturbation, titty sucking, 69, cunnilingus, thumb fucking.


Scene Two: Jenna is back in the office with a hangover (even though she didn't drink that much). She is told by Mr. Big that she must find out who stole a famous diamond necklace (right off the neck of the owner, oh my God!) Jenna has 24 hours to find the necklace. She interviews the owners of the necklace (Ashley Moore and Dale Dabone), a couple that shamelessly flirts with each other. She has a spaz attack, remembering the necklace in a strange dream. While she has her strange memory, we cut to Ashley and Dale making love (while the catburglar steals the necklace).

Rundown: Blow job, reverse cg (condom), mish, spoon, doggy, facial.


Scene Three: Jenna is researching the cat burglar, while her assistant, Cherry Rain, goes off with her boyfriend to see the Nile diamond (not to be confused with the Neil diamond). Is this a clue or just a MacGuffin? Cherry's boyfriend takes her to his place of work, an S&M club. Cherry tries out the various devices while he is indisposed. She doesn't do much with the various toys, it's just a tease leading in to a straight sex scene.

Rundown: Kissing, cunnilingus, rim job, blow job, reverse cg (condom), mish, cg, doggy, facial.


Scene Four: We see the catburglar at the museum, briefly. Then it's a quick cut to Aurora Snow and Randy Spears at a theatre. Randy is reading a newspaper story about the stolen Nile diamond. Aurora says she would do anything for the man who would give her that diamond, then proceeds to blow Randy.

Rundown: Blow job, cunnilingus with face sitting, reverse cg, mish, cg, facial.


Scene Five: Jenna is back home, in her bedroom, tramping about with matching pink panties and bra. Jenna has another spaz attack, upon seeing a glowing object in her purse. It doesn't look so much like a diamond, as the crystals from the old kids show "Land Of The Lost." However, when she removes it, it is the diamond necklace (perhaps the sleestak are behind all of this?) She looks inside and sees gloves, and then remembers that the hypnotist was wearing the same gloves. This segues into a scene between Jenna and Dru Berrymore.

Rundown: Touching, kissing, cunnilingus, rim job, strap on for each girl.


Scene Six: Cherry and her boyfriend go to the club for lunch. Jenna arrives with the diamonds, but has not figured out what we all know. Dru appears behind her and puts the necklace on her neck (while putting them all in a trance). This is when Jenna figures out that Dru is the thief, in cahoots with the club owners. This cuts to a love scene with Mr. Big, played by Justin Sterling.

Rundown: Blow job, doggy, reverse cg, mish, spoon, cunnilingus, facial.

I won't try to wrap up the mystery, because the writer and director didn't really bother to, either. This is more or less an average Jenna flick, not as good as I Dream Of Jenna 1 or Burn, but on a par with Masseuse or I Dream Of Jenna 2. This is for Jenna fans only, but there are certainly enough of them.

DVD Features: Photo gallery, behind the scenes gallery, bonus scenes, advertisments.

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