Filthy's Monster Cocks 5 Not so much “monster” as just plain big. Out of the six scenes boasting monster cocks half of them are performed by the same guy: Ramon. Yeah, he’s got a large member that comes fully equipped with a large and lovely wart that sometimes appears emerald green on camera, but should he be the star of the movie? That question leads me to my problem with the film: the majority of the filming is unbalanced in favor of the penetration. In the big cock niche, I thought the girls’ reactions were what mattered almost as much as finding some male performer with a big hunk of dangling meat. A dick entering a pussy looks the same regardless of size, but the reaction of the girl is different from performer to performer. Aside from that I’m not going to complain about the mentality of the Director, which was to seek out skinny girls with small tits in hopes that their vaginas would also be small and unable to handle a “monster cock.”

The actress in the first scene—the girl on the DVD cover—looks like a brunette Uma Thurman, but much thinner and trashier. Wearing a matching set of plaid bra and panties, she does a short strip tease before being approached by her large cock companion. There’s the typical sucking and fucking…no condom…mostly uneventful…she takes it take a true professional right there on the sofa. For the finale, she gets a cumshot in the eye.

The second scene shifts gears on us as we’re given a dose of “reality” porn. A few guys are cruising around the Miami Beach area looking to get their friend some pussy when they spot Paradise, who must be giving off the “I wanna get in a truck with three strangers and fuck one of them on camera” vibe, because they scoop her right up. Paradise wastes no time by allowing herself to be stripped after only being in the truck a few minutes. She shows off her pierced nipples, and then her Grade A cock sucking abilities. The bad thing about this scene is having to deal with the dialogue coming from the guys who are not having sex. It’s a constant barrage of stupid jokes, puns, and double entendres about entering or finding paradise.

The third scene is mediocre at best, just like the girls with the exception of Shayne St. Lucia. This is the first scene where I’ve ever heard the camera man, in this case Cezar Capone, ever compliment a girl’s eyeballs. I thought maybe he was grasping at straws because she wasn’t too attractive, and her outfit was less than stunning, but no. Cezar does it again in another scene. The only thing that is not mediocre is the size of the male performer’s genitals. I wasn’t measuring but his cock is probably the biggest. But with that said, the girl had no problem taking it all in, did a poor acting job, and was silent throughout most of the scene (which was one of the shortest). To make matters worse, the guy missed with the money-shot, hitting the couch and her shoulder, with only leftovers for her face and chest.

The fourth scene is an unfunny joke with no purpose. The viewer is dragged through all the B.S. of Cezar and Ramon looking for a girl, finding her and running a con on her, complimenting her eyeballs, and finally getting her to where she’s ready for action for only two minutes of fucking, end of scene. Ramon’s penis with wart—or whatever strange growth it is—was too big for her, and she didn’t want to continue. No money-shot. No nothing; just two minutes of slow and easy penetration.

The fifth girl on the other hand is not some skinny white girl who can’t handle Ramon’s penis with wart, but is a skinny black girl who can handle it. She takes the cock well, and for her time receives a messy facial. I just hope that isn’t all she got out of the deal.

And finally, the moment I was waiting for, the last scene featuring Shayne St. Lucia, but in order to get to the sex you must first sit through a lengthy scam about a non-existent reality television show, and a BS “interview” to see if Shayne would be interested in acting on the show. There just happens to be a pornstar role available, and that just happens to be the part Shayne is interested in. Even though she has small boobs, and the skin on her chest was peeling from sunburn, and she had to take a break half-way through the scene because the pounding she received was too intense, I still think that Shayne’s scene is the best. Yet, it is frustrating to get to a scene that you give a damn about and have to watch Ramon’s wart narrowly avoiding Shayne’s clit piercing, instead of getting to see Shayne’s face contort and turn red as a result of the biggest cock she’s ever had. But who am I to complain?

Special features include: scene selections, DVD-Rom compatibility, no regional coding, a photo gallery, and trailers of other films.

“Filthy’s Monster Cocks 5” has big cocks, but also some unmemorable amateurs. I think it was a mistake for Club Jenna to put their name on this movie. Overall, I give it a 3.5 out of 5.