Yes, it's true, I was born 500 yrs. ago, on August 20th, in a cluster of rose bushes, impervious to thorns.

At the age of 10, I invented molecular transformation in mortals. By 12, I'd bedded my first alien femme from far stars.

My advanced age is only partially due to superhuman genes; I also periodically "slipstream," spontaneously sliding from one time-space continuum to another, thus shedding normal years, a parallel worldling without portfolio, high-tech device, or proof of citiZENship.

To the casual observer, I merely look like a moderately interesting 50-yr.old, or 35-yr.-old, or random aggregate of shifting geometric shapes with a goatee.

I accept gold bars, rubies, diamonds, afterlife houris, or eternal devotion as honorable birthday gifts in this wilderness of days.

Thank you, and have a nice daze.